Dear Mom

I know I’m not lucky enough to have you alive with me today. Whatever you did for me has given me invisible strength to face the day. I never realised that your presence was like an omnipresent light, protecting and steering me steadily. The one who has taught me to fly is no longer there, and I find myself flying now aimlessly.

All I have with me are memories. I never imagined that you’d ever die, especially when I felt I was not grown up enough to leave your nest of protective warmth. So I’m ashamed to say that I’d taken you for granted. You’d always been the invisible pillar of strength for our family.

I feel sorry I didn’t tell you enough that your cooking spun miraculous delicacies, that I savored every bite and munch, that the food you prepared painstakingly had so much love and care.

I can never thank you enough for showering me with so much affection and urging me, motivating me to feel my best and do my best. The long nights you’d spend with me as I prepared for my school programmes and competitions, whenever I’d perform in public, when I was so scared of not doing well, you’d be there supporting me,helping me rehearse, making me feel that I really mattered.

I always looked pretty to you, and you’d say so to feed my teenage ego and self-worth. You loved picking my dresses and accessories. I remember how I’d dress up and come to you for a final valuation, without which I could never step out.

I reminisce our nights out when the two of us would window shop for hours and take cab rides all over the city. We’d walk till our legs ached and snack heartily on the way. It was our mini escapades where I’d see the child in your away from the bustling responsibilities of a homemaker.

I remember how you never tired out of doing things for your children. No matter how sick or upset you were, you’d never lose the energy to take care of us. Your life’s ambition was your husband and kids and nothing else. I can’t even comprehend the number of times you’d forsaken your interests and comforts for us.

Mom, you’re the most pure and innocent soul I’ve ever known. People have only words of goodness for you and credit goes to that earnest heart and pious spirit in you.  To have you with me for a longer time, is something the Almighty has decided not to and of course, He is the Best of Planners and Source of Ultimate Wisdom. I can only revisit those golden moments and make dua for you. May Allah grant you the best in the Hereafter!

Your loving daughter,

~ Fahima Yousouf